Happiness is not permanent

Have you ever sat down to write out your goals or New Years’ resolutions and thought, “I want to be happy”? How did that work out for you? It didn’t really work out so well for me. When I quit my job as a School Counselor to be a stay at home mom, I thought “I’m gonna be the coupon queen & plan field trips for my kids & we’re gonna make crafts & everyone is going to be HAPPY”. I thought if I wasn’t stressing out about my job and I could focus on my home life, then I’d be happy. Like happiness was this mystical place that exists just beyond Narnia.

Well, I found out really quickly that just because I didn’t have the stresses of my professional life, didn’t mean I didn’t have stresses. Once I became a stay at home mom, I felt the pressure to do EVERYTHING right - healthy meals, educational activities, day trips to the zoo & the library. The stresses followed me. I came to realize that there is stress and anxiety in anything you do. There will always be stress and anxiety. Whether it’s trying to get stuff from your To Do list done, organizing everyone’s schedule, or whether that’s chocolate or poop your kid just put in his mouth - there will always be SOMETHING to get in the way of your happiness.

I learned to stop trying to find a world of ONLY happiness because that doesn’t exist. What I found is that within your world - the real one that you exist in every day - there are moments of happiness. Every single day, there is a moment or two or three or more. Something small or something big. Your kid saying “I just went pee on the potty!” or “Mommy, I love spending time with you.” Your partner sending a sweet text message “just because”. Your Amazon package FINALLY arriving! Getting to drink your first cup of coffee while it’s actually hot! Paying off another student loan!

Within each day are MOMENTS of happiness. So instead of striving for some illusion of a purely happy place that you won’t get to until … you make a million dollars, you look a certain way, you have the perfect partner… instead look for those MOMENTS. They exist and are waiting for you to discover them. To recognize them and honor them. To collect them and look back on them at the end of the day, remembering the happiness that flooded over you and then was forgotten when the next stress hit you.

Be present & enjoy your little moments of happiness when they come to you. Take them as gifts from the Universe and be grateful for them. Let them warm your heart and then try and be a moment of happiness for someone else. Spread the little moments. Be the happy.

Photo (Ahmed Zayan on Unsplash)